It seems every time the Boyd family returns they insist on bringing controversy along for the ride and this past Saturday night at Studio 3042 was no different. 

To their credit they did agree to adhere to Rule 27, Paragraph 5, Subparagraph 23, Item 5 of the official UFLDP, sponsored by Heineken®, Regulations (spouses must be a separate tables), but that is just about where their cooperation ceased. The list of alleged infractions registered by competing UFLDP athletes was lengthy and unprecedented: 

Hunter Boyd, progeny of Randall & Karen and employee of Goldman Sachs (yes, THAT Goldman Sachs), was seated directly across from Karen at table 1 and able to provide an unlimited amount of nearly undetectable nods, winks, grunts, passing of gas, and other "signals" so as to tip the balance of competition in favor of his parent. 

Karen, capitalizing on her newfound reputation as a pugilist extraordinaire, was able to intimidate other players into meek submission. To quote an anonymous athlete: "I was afraid to make eye contact."

Randall subjected his competitors to all sorts of folksy, Texas-twang bromides such that one newcomer nearly fell asleep mid-competition. 

The most insidious infraction by the Boyd Clan was the endless stream of "statistical probability" calculations shared throughout the competition. Had it only happened at one table might be explained away easily. But the fact both tables were subjected to their gibberish gave off the stank of collusion. There was a lot of "well each of the dice has 6 numbers blah blah blah" and "the chance that she would roll a pair is (snoooze).....". If you thought the Bill Pinciotti number hand signals is a bit too much to take, that's nothing in comparison. 

 

Also, everyone knows Einstein's law of probability:

 

 

In the end the Boyds left with the treasured UFLDP Cup (again). In doing so they became the first family to have each member declared a UFLDP Champion. While the UFLDP Cup will not take its place on the mantle of the Boyd abode (some nonsense about not having a mantle and apparently not willing to specifically install one in order to proudly display the Cup, which seems highly irregular) they did announce they would be placing it in the lap of the honest Abe at the Lincoln Memorial, I think). Karen also committed that she would be carrying it with her everywhere, so it will be making multiple appearances in the Burlingame community over the next few weeks.